Act 1, scene 1

A dark room, spot on a table. Mr. Lauber sits at the table.

 

Lauber: Nothing.

You: What do you mean, Mr. Lauber?

Lauber: Nothing.

You: What is nothing?

Lauber: Nothing is the absence of everything.

You: And what is everything?

Lauber: Everything is the absence of nothing.

You: So we don't have to do anything for the rest of the school year?

Lauber: Oh but you do.

You: What? Tell me what we have to do!

Lauber: Something.

You: What is something?

Lauber: Something is the abs...

You: Shut up and speak in plain terms!

Lauber: You don't make sense. I can't shut up and speak at the same time.

You: Arghhhhhhh. Just tell me what we have to do. PLEASE!

Lauber: Participate in class. Help someone. Be nice. Tell your parent(s) and your siblings that you love them.

You: That's all?

Lauber: No, it's not. It's only something.