Act 1, scene 1

A dark room, spot on a table. Mr. Lauber sits at the table.


Lauber: Nothing.

You: What do you mean, Mr. Lauber?

Lauber: Nothing.

You: What is nothing?

Lauber: Nothing is the absence of everything.

You: And what is everything?

Lauber: Everything is the absence of nothing.

You: So we don't have to do anything in the holidays?

Lauber: Oh but you do.

You: What? Tell me what we have to do!

Lauber: Something.

You: What is something?

Lauber: Something is the abs...

You: Shut up and speak in plain terms!

Lauber: You don't make sense. I can't shut up and speak at the same time.

You: Arghhhhhhh. Just tell me what we have to do. PLEASE!

Lauber: Finish Perks. Fill in the character sheets. Think about the view on love from the perspective of Charlie, Sam and Patrick. Be nice.

You: That's all?

Lauber: No, it's not. It's only something.

You: ...

Lauber: I like you, too. Check the homepage at the end of the holidays for your new assignments.